“If there is god, is me”
– Charlie ‘The Chunk’ Beckley
Reasons we love Charlie
Loves F1
Almost as big of a Ferrari fan as he is a Lando Norris hater. Charlie’s been watching F1 longer than he’s been alive.
Runs fast
No one runs faster than Charlie, we are so excited for his Olympics appearance in 2028.
Liver of Thor
As a bartender, Charlie has a drink for everyone he pours. Being constantly sloshed at work is no mere feet, and yet Charlie manages it.
About Charlie
Charlie Beckley, better known as The Chunk, was born 15th of February 2004 – Exactly 888 days after the towers fell.
Charlie made his start in life as a professional child before switching to being a professional alcoholic – a brave choice.
Charlie has yet to die, but we assume it will involve horrors beyond human comprehension and a Lemon.
Charlie News
What people have to say about Charlie
“My favourite whiteboy, and he has the swag”
– Caian Keyes, Bit autistic
“Some say he runs fast, others say he doesn’t eat enough, what we do know is your honour, he only had six pints when he ploughed into that family”
– Matthew Meacher, Twink
“This man always encourages me to be the best I can be. A drunk driver.”
– Jack Amir-Ebrahimi, Short
“The most Chinese guy I know”
– Jack Wheatley, Lunk
“Charlie is one of my oldest friends and most reliable, I couldn’t imagine life without bro”
– Nathan Payne, Journeyman
Never stop running.
Contact your local Charlie here
Have a question for Charlie?
So do we, so many many questions.
Maybe you’ll find an anwser.